Making Christmas

Well, I'm at the point now where I don't expect much of myself this time of year.  Some of you will read that line and interpret it as a statement of disappointment and resignation.  Others will read it and see it as a statement of relief and joy.  It's the latter of you who are my people.  MY PEOPLE.

This year I am happy to report that I am cured from what I like to refer to "Holiday Disillusion Disorder".  (Yes, I know just a few weeks ago I made up another disorder: ESCR- Extreme Shopping Cart Rage.  I'm thinking that maybe it could become my thing.  I'll just go around making up fake disorders for everyday minor annoyances and then write about them.  What do you think?)

Holiday Disillusion Disorder is a slow progressing disease that occurs over the course of the year.  It causes a person to forget the reality of the holiday season, and causes a dangerous blurring of the line between what one believes the holidays should be like, and what their actual capabilities are when it comes to getting it all done.

Yes, the fog has lifted and this year I can say with absolute certainty that I WILL NEVER BE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO GETS HER CHRISTMAS CARDS OUT EARLY.

Also, I SHOULDN'T TAKE ON AN ENTIRE DAY DEVOTED TO BAKING BECAUSE WHEN I DO, I START TO HATE MYSELF AN HOUR IN.

Oh, and then there's THE LIKELIHOOD OF ME GETTING ALL THE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS BOUGHT AND WRAPPED BEFORE CHRISTMAS EVE IS EXACTLY 0%.

This is so freeing!  I think I'll share a few more.

TRYING TO HANG ORNAMENTS IN AN ORGANIZED FASHION OR USING A COLOR THEME FOR YOUR TREE IS STUPID WHEN CHILDREN LIVE IN YOUR HOUSE BECAUSE THEY WILL INSIST ON HANGING TACKY ORNAMENTS FROM A HAPPY MEAL RIGHT NEXT TO THE VERY SPECIAL ANTIQUE ORNAMENT THAT WAS HANDED DOWN TO YOU FROM YOUR GREAT- GRANDMOTHER.

And finally, CREATING WARM HOLIDAY MEMORIES BY MAKING A GINGERBREAD HOUSE IS ACTUALLY A MESSY AND TIME CONSUMING NIGHTMARE.  PLUS, THE KIDS WILL PUSH YOUR PATIENCE TO THE EXTREME BY ASKING YOU EVERY 2 MINUTES IF THEY CAN EAT THE CANDY DECORATIONS.  

(That last one is actually a revelation that occurred last night, so I guess the true test from whether I'm over my disorder or not will come next year when the kids ask me if we're going to make another gingerbread house.)
(Actually, I know we'll probably make another gingerbread house- the test will actually be whether I take on the endeavor under the disillusionment of making warm holiday memories, or armed with the knowledge that the experience will probably end with me solo, re-gluing gumdrops for the 100th time onto a gingerbread roof that keeps collapsing.)

Still.  It's so nice to know these things about myself and to not be held hostage by my Holiday Disillusion Disorder.  Now that I know my limits, I'm free to go about the holidays in my own sucky, inefficient, yet stress free and jolly little way.

What Holiday Disillusions do you all suffer from?