Judge Not, Lest You End Up Making Mayberry References

Someone said something to me recently that I'm kind of split on. They said, "You don't truly know how stressful being a parent is until you've had more than 1 kid."

Huh.

I've thought a lot about this. Part of me wants to stand up and say, "Now, hold on here! Let's be fair about this! Parenting is a hard job, no matter how many kids you have!"

(For some reason, I totally imagine myself saying that like Sheriff Andy from "The Andy Griffith Show". You know, with a southern accent and a peace keeping attitude?)

Don't ask.

The other part of me wants to stand up and yell "HA! IN YOUR FACE, PARENTS OF ONE! YOU THINK THIS IS HARD? YOU'VE GOT IT EASY! ONE IS A CAKEWALK COMPARED TO THE CIRCUS I RUN!" (And this, my friends, I imagine myself shouting like Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men)

Again, don't ask. Maybe I just have a thing tonight for men in uniforms.

Anyway, this thought wouldn't be worth pondering for me, except for the fact that lately when I've been talking to some mommy friends of singles, I've become aware of this feeling that creeps up on me. It's small, it's quiet, I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was exactly....... and THEN I began to see the light. I was feeling judged. And it bugged me. Until I remembered that I was exactly the same way.

When I had just Princess G, we had a lot of time. I had a lot of patience. And yes, it was hard getting used to being a parent and not having my life and thoughts to myself anymore. But I managed the way everyone else does. And because I loved this new little creature so much, I threw myself into being the best parent there ever was. I taught her baby signs. I talked to her all day, every day because the books told me that was the best way to develop her language skills. We rarely watched T.V., and if we did, it was educational. Not a crumb of processed food touched her lips for entire first year. I breastfed, I nurtured, I played. I was patient, I was loving, I was involved.

I was obnoxious.

I also thought mean, bad thoughts about moms who complained about their kids, how tired they were, how they were having issues with this or that. I secretly thought "Well, they're doing something wrong." I actually thought I was just gifted as a parent.

Oh, I was bad. And now I'm reaping the rewards of Karma.

2 kids and 3 1/2 years later, I can't remember any details of anything that was discussed more than 5 minutes prior to the current conversation I'm having. I can rarely spit out a complete thought, because there's either a child there to interrupt me, OR, more embarrassingly, every thought I have triggers another thought, and before I know it, I've birdwalked so far from my main point that I have no idea what I started to say in the first place.

I kinda did it there, just now.

You will rarely see my hair in anything other than a ponytail and I don't care if my bra strap shows. I'm just happy to have gotten 3 children out of the house with their shoes on the right feet.

My kids don't always eat their full servings of veggies and fruits because I've learned to pick my battles.

I love the television. I use it first thing in the morning while I have my coffee. I use it during rest time so that I can catch a break. And I use it in the evening so that they leave me alone while I cook dinner. It's a lovely invention and I feel so, so, SO much pity for mothers who had to rear children without it.

And finally, I yell. I yell because sometimes I need to feel heard amongst all the craziness. Sometimes I need to let the kids know I mean business. And sometimes I just need to, period. Ineffective? Yes. I'm open to a few lessons from the Supernanny. But until then, I'll yell.

So, to go back to the original statement from my friend: Can you really understand the full stress of being a parent if you only have one kid?

My answer is no. No, you can't. But it's best not to dwell on it, lest karma kick you in your unsuspecting butt. Karma's always looking to teach a lesson to those of us who judge. And I've learned my lesson. So it looks like I'm back to my Sheriff Andy voice when I say, "Can't we all just get along?"

Or my Rodney King voice.

Whatever.

You all have a good night.