You Too May Be Suffering From This Disease

Hi.

I went to Costco on the day before Thanksgiving.

Stupid, I know.  I won't ask for your pity because I brought it on myself.  However, whilst there (love that word, 'whilst'), I learned a few things.

First, I need to make a shirt to wear specifically for when I go to Costco that says "If you stop short in front of me, I will ram my cart into your ass."  I'm also tempted to write on the back back something like "And if you block my way to slowly peruse the free food samples, it's fair to expect me to run my cart through you."

Second, I learned that the shopping carts at Costco are torture devices.  Anyone else experience painful electrical shocks to their fingertips and palms while manuevering their cart around that demon hole of a store?  I was trying to figure out if it was just me or if there were others having the same problem, but it didn't seem that anyone else was having issues.  However, it's possible that where I live is a factor in this since nearly everyone else in there was over 60 and grounded by their orthopedic rubber soled shoes.

Third, the problem does not lie with only Costco.  I had to also run to Stater Brothers for two slices of bacon and a red onion.  There I encountered a family of six who walked slowly down every aisle and blocked other customers from passing them.  They were carrying a small while ferret with a sweater on.

In a food establishment.

They were carrying a rodent.

In a food establishment.

And it was wearing a sweater.

At that point, I just got out of there fast because I was starting to feel unpredictable behavior coming on. Unpredictable behavior that I would not be able to be held accountable for on account of the fact that I suffer from a very serious, very real disease known as ESCR.  Extreme Shopping Cart Rage.  It's like road rage, except with shopping carts.  If you've had to repress urges to beat the shopper in front of you over the head with the double sized bag of brussell sprouts that you've grabbed from your cart, then you too, suffer from this terrible disease.  So there you go.  Now your pain has a name.  You're welcome.

Tis the season, all.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Love,

Tacy- sufferer of ESCR and various other made up mental illnesses (as well as a few legit ones)