A Different Kind of Mother's Day Post

Sometimes J and Roo get along like white on rice, and other days they are like oil and water.  Today is an oil and water day.  Kindergarten drop off can not come soon enough.  My morning has been filled with bickering children, bickering children, and oh yes....more bickering children.  So in the midst of this big bowl of awesomesauce that is my day, I've been escaping into blog land and reading a variety of Mother's Day posts.  There are some really sweet, sentimental, heart warming, tear jerking posts out there this week..... and I can relate to none of them at the moment because it's too hard to reflect on the joys of motherhood when your children are acting like territorial primates with volume control issues.

So I'm taking a minute to write a different kind of Mother's Day post.  Crappy Pictures wrote a post yesterday about how all she wants for Mother's Day is a day off.  I'd like to take that idea into a slightly different direction.  All I want for Mother's Day is a 12 hour break from using particular phrases around this house.  These are phrases that I repeat so often that there have been days when I have come this close to pulling a Van Gogh and cutting my ears off- just so I wouldn't have to hear my own voice saying these words yet again.  And while yes, I'm aware that the power lies in me to just stop repeating the following phrases, you should know that no, really it doesn't, because if I don't address the following behaviors with my children, no one will.  Then my children will grow up to be heathens and societal rejects, and to be frank, I just can't handle that guilt.    So without further delay, here they are:

1.  "Who didn't flush?"
2.  "Your shirt is not a napkin."
3.  "Stop fighting!"
4.  "What happened?/Why are you crying?"
5.  "Put this away, please."
6.  "Put this away, please."
7.  "Put this away, please."
8.  "Brushing your teeth is part of getting dressed."
9.  "Don't argue.  Just do it."


A day without saying any of the above would be a simply glorious day.  My brain would squeal and hug itself.  My heart would beat contentedly.  My body would feel refreshed, and I would be able to wake up on Monday morning and begin using all of the above phrases once again, only this time I'd effuse love and kindness and all kinds of June Cleaver-y perfection.   (I'm not sure how hollering "Who didn't flush?" out the bathroom door would ever come out sounding kind and June Cleaver-y, but I would like the chance to find out.)

By the way, I couldn't think of a number 10 so I asked the kids if they could think of something that mommy says a lot.  I was hoping they would say something like "You always tell us that you love us.", so that I would have a sweet ending for this post.  Instead J answered, "Um, you say 'Go to your room if you're going to be loud'."

Oh well.  There goes my happy ending.   I guess I'm not the only one who's cranky around here.

Hopefully by Sunday when I'm basking in glory of homemade cards and tissue-wrapped gifts from school, I'll have forgotten all about this rotten morning and so will have they. Isn't that what we do?  We forget about the bad (or at least look for a way to laugh about it) so that we can find love in all the little things?  Especially when those little things come in the form of a painted hand print with a sweet poem.  Or spray painted macaronis glued onto a paper plate.  Or a dozen "tulips" made from pipe cleaners and egg cartons.  In any case, Happy Mother's Day to all my friends out there who are moms.  I am always awed by the inspiration, laughter, and learning I receive just by being in the ranks with you.  Much love to you all!

*And a shout out to my own mom, who is pretty awe-inspiring and cool.  Love you.