They Say I'll Get Used To The Geckos

Evening Gilligan.

What's up, Skipper? 

Ginger, Mary Ann... hello girls.

Oh, hey Professor.

Can I take a moment of your little gecko lives here?

Listen.  I hear that you all like to hang around Hawai'in homes and that it's nothing unusual.  They tell me that you're necessary and that I should even be grateful for your presence since you do help to keep the bug population down.  In the spirit of vacation, I am prepared to be okay with that.

However.

If you all are to have free reign of the house during my stay here,  I feel the need to clarify some boundaries between us.  It's not that I'm necessarily afraid of you guys, it's just that your presence makes me feel a little......on edge.   Therefore, I've determined that our cohabitation for the next ten days will be a more relaxing experience for us both if we can agree on certain terms and conditions.  So if you'd all be so kind as to raise your front right...paw? Foot?  Reptilian claw?....and swear to the following:

I, (insert retro tv show nickname here) agree that under no conditions will I loiter in any of the following areas: underside of the toilet lids, on doorknobs or on doors in general (cupboards included), on drinking glasses, on pillows, in beds, nor in shoes. 

I promise not to jump, scurry, or make any sudden movements at all in the presence of any human beings, especially the one standing in front of you right now. 

I will not crawl on or above the headboards during the hours in which humans are sleeping....or on the ceiling above them.

If, in an instance where any humans are somewhat "trapped" in your presence (say, while they are using the toilet facilities), I will freeze and not move a muscle until they can finish their business and leave.  I will especially not make any movements toward them while they are in such an indelicate position. 

See?  That's not too much to ask, is it?    I am prepared to give you nothing but space and the upmost respect, as long as the conditions outlined above are followed.  It is, however, only fair to warn you that should there be a breach of contract amongst any you- ANY OF YOU-forgive me, but I will lose my aloha.  I'll lose my aloha all over the place.

Consider yourself warned.  I thank you in advance for your compliance.





*You'll be happy to know that not one single gecko breached their contract for the entirety of our ten day stay.  Respectful law abiding citizens, those geckos are.