You guys. I am writing this in complete silence. All I can hear is the air conditioner running. Once and a while a random dog barks outside, but that’s it. I’m breathing it in.
The kids are back in school.
Yes, I know just a mere three months ago I was lamenting the fact that we were still in school, a slave to the schedule. Let’s talk about that for a moment.
I feel like the schedule is a lover that I push away because it smothers. It’s all up in my business, telling me what to do, where to go, when to be there. I resent it and yearn for freedom from it’s suffocating embrace, but then... when it’s gone….. I begin to miss it. Sometime over the course of summer, amidst the kids chorus of “I’m bored.” and “What do we have to eat?”, I realize that the schedule wasn’t so bad. Sure, it’s a little bossy, but it does give me direction. Security. Purpose.
I always take the schedule back with open arms. That’s just the kind of dysfunctional relationship we have.
I hope you all had peaceful, organized mornings. We did not, but I am not taking the blame for this one. I did all I could do in my power to make it a smooth morning. Lunches were packed, I had the kids pick out their first day outfits yesterday, I even made them lay out their underwear and socks, just to be safe. I did not, however, make them lay out their shoes because, you know, I thought shoes are just things that you put on your feet before you walk out the door. Did you know that they are actually more than that? Apparently, shoes have the power to dictate your WHOLE attitude towards the world and everything in it. They do. Listen.
It was the old shoes,not the new ones we bought a few weeks ago, but the old shoes that were needed for today, and only one of the coveted pair was sitting by the front door. Where was this other old shoe with all the magical powers to make this school year a great one? We did not know. We looked until I finally said that we could not waste any more time looking, to put on the new shoes. “Noooooooo!”, the child wails. The new ones are too big! The new ones had laces and laces are devil spawn! The new ones will ruin the whole day!
I paused and had a flashback moment to three weeks ago in the shoe store, when this child claimed to love these shoes, begged us, in fact, to buy them. I considered stating this fact out loud and then desisted, recognizing that to do so would only take the argument down dark avenues in which the child would try to tell me how I misheard everything and the shoes were never really wanted in the first place. Instead I announce that in five minutes we would get in the car, and this child could be there with two new shoes on it’s feet, or one old shoe, but the decision needed to be made quickly.
The child then screeched “Will you help me…. for once????” and I laughed boldly right into the face of my offspring, thinking “Honey, you think I don’t know how you’re playing this game? You go talk to Grandma because mommy here invented morning drama and if you’re trying to win, I suggest you find yourself another opponent. I will own you at this. You will crash. You will burn. And you. will. LOSE your will to play. Bring it.”
So long story shorter, there was gnashing of teeth and stomping of feet, but I held my ground and got in the car by the established five minute deadline. But it didn’t stop there, no. Said child went on, grumpily stating that it wished it was a flamingo so that it only had one leg so it could wear it’s one old shoe. Then it wished that everyone could be a flamingo, so that it wouldn’t be the only one-legged flamingo at school.Then the other child argued that flamingoes really have two legs, and the angry child yelled that that wasn’t the point. That’s about the time when I wished I had an Enya CD in the car, because trying to go to your mental happy space is difficult with the Looney Tunes song running on track in your head, but I made it work.
When we got to school, I took a picture of both kids smiling to commemorate the first day of school, and that’s the one I put on Facebook- the happy one. Earlier though, in the five minute time frame between the front door and the car, was when I took the original picture. This was the one I sent to Matt, because he knows how anxiety can make this child of mine-the one who insists that wearing the old shoes is the only way to ensure a good year-feel like life is harder than it really is.
I was careful not to name any names, so you’re going to have to really study this photograph to figure out which one of the kids I’m talking about here.
Poor J. In case you’re wondering, he was fine by the time we walked in the gates. I’m sure he’ll have a good day, despite not having the “right” shoes on his feet. I, however, still feel a bit wound up, though that could be due to the three cups of coffee I’ve had.
Anyway, I hope you all have a great day and that your kids come home happy with their teachers. Personally, I’ll be spending the day making it up to the schedule. He’s a bit bitter, but I know it’s just a matter of time before we’re comfortable with each other again.
No comments:
Post a Comment