Comfort Food

Hey everyone.

It's the end of another long week. 9's mom is still hanging in there. 9 was taken out of school last Wednesday because hospice was certain she was at the end, but she pulled through. Since then, he and her family have been hanging out there with her and keeping her company. She has no detectable pulse, her heartbeat is down to 4 beats per minute, and she hasn't ingested any food or liquids for 12 days now. I'm not sure what is keeping her hanging on. One friend told me about how her grandma, not wanting to die in front of her loved ones, waited until she was alone. Someone else suggested that perhaps Michelle needs to hear from one of her loved ones that it's okay for her to go. Of course there's no way of knowing what she wants/needs right now. I'm just hoping that she finds peace and that it ends soon. This has been rough on her family.

Anyway, I didn't sit down to write a depressing post. I wanted to write about comfort food.

The mood of this household has been sad, and the cold, rainy weather has only served to provide an appropriate backdrop. It occurred to me this week why people use the word "heavy" in relation to sadness. This really does feel literally, heavy. And while thinking about this, I started to understand the nature of comfort food. The ingredients you find in many comfort foods are usually heavy themselves: eggs, creams, butter, flour, etc. Maybe to us humans, it just feels good when we're feeling the weight of sadness to just take it and eat it- to turn it into something good and enjoyable for a short while. I don't know. Maybe I'm getting a tad too philosophical about cream and butter. At any rate, that's my deep philosophical revelation of the week. Take from it what you will.

So for those takers out there, I thought that today I'd post a recipe for 9's favorite dessert that I make. It would fall into the category of comfort food for sure: Chocolate Bread Pudding. I made it in the first year of Mr. C and I being married and 9 LOVED it. With all the ups and downs of becoming a stepfamily, his being so enthusiastic about it gave me hope that I was, in fact, capable of doing something right after all. Back then it was all about the little things.

Since then, he's asked for this dessert on most of his birthdays and anytime I'm taking requests. It only has 6 ingredients and it's very easy. So with 9 in mind (and in my heart), I give this to you, my 10 wonderful readers:

Chocolate Bread Pudding #9

1 Box of Vanilla Cook n Serve Pudding
2 cups of heavy cream
1 cup of water
3 large eggs
7 slices cinnamon raisin bread, toasted and cut into cubes
*9 doesn't like raisins, so I use plain cinnamon bread
3/4 cup mini chocolate chips
*I actually use way more than 3/4. The first time I made it I used almost the whole bag on accident. 9's never as happy with the outcome if I follow the recipe exactly, so I usually repeat my "mistake" when I make this. You, however, can just eyeball it and use your own discretion.

Preheat oven to 375 and coat a 1.5 quart baking dish.

In a med. saucepan, combine the cream, pudding mix, and water. Bring to a simmer over medium heat.
In a separate bowl, lightly whisk the eggs. Take 1/2 cup of pudding mixture from the sauce pan and pour it into the eggs. Stir, and then dump the egg mixture back into the saucepan. Stir continuously for one minute.
**When I first did this, I didn't understand that I was "tempering" the eggs. It's very important to stir the 1/2 cup of pudding mixture into the eggs b/c if you don't, the eggs will kind of congeal together. You won't be able to tell anything is wrong until you're eating the bread pudding and you suddenly get a bite that tastes strongly of scrambled eggs. Gross. Heed my warning and stir well, my friends.
Arrange half of the breadcubes in a layer in the dish, and pour 1/2 of the mixture over it. Sprinkle heavily with the mini chips. Repeat layering, and top with more chips. (The recipe says 1/4 cup of chips should go on top. I say you can never have to much chocolate.)
Bake for 45 minutes, or until liquid is absorbed.

Eat with whipped cream. Or with ice cream. Or cold, for breakfast the next morning. Above all, eat with a light heart.

Have a good night!