Kindergarten Jesus

Well.

I woke up this morning with plans to spend my kid-free time writing a post about Kindergartners, what a sweet perspective they have on the world and how we should cherish it.  But then I got a call from the office at my son's school asking me to come and get him because he threw up.  So now, instead of thinking about Kindergartners as funny, innocent, little rays of sunshine, I can only picture an army of visious pint-sized tormentors who could potentially mark my son as "the boy who threw up on the second day of school" and tease and taunt him and make him hate school forever and ever.

No, I'm not moody today.  Why do you ask?

Anyway, puking aside, I'm still going to go forward with this post and try not to let my mommy neuroticism get the better of me. I'm also going to try to forget about the fact that I can still, to this day, remember the name of "the pukers" from my elementary school days and hope that video games have softened this generation's young minds enough so that they don't have the same razor sharp clarity of memory that I do, especially when it comes to other kids' humiliations.

But let's not talk about that and move on, shall we?

I started thinking about this post after talking to my friend about her daughter, who is entering Kindergarten this year.  This little girl is bright, sweet, and very creative but my friend was telling me that she was a little worried about taking her in for her pre-K assessment.  Her daughter kept insisting that her last name was Tots- which is actually her nickname.  As a former K teacher, I think that's adorable (and I'm sure her current K teacher would think so too), but because the Pre-K assessment is the first time anyone other than you officially judges your child's ability, my friend was worried.  She and her husband spent days coaching, teaching, and then asking their daughter "What's your full name?" and every time she would gleefully declare "Taytum Tots!"

After some more coaching, she still had a mental block when it came to remembering her last name, but progress was made in that she at least understood that her last name wasn't Tots afterall.  Though her parents continued to work with her, her brain wasn't quite ready for the concept of having two names.  One day, perhaps feeling a little frustrated, her dad decided to take a break.  Her gave her some time, and after a while went back to her and called through the bedroom door- "Hey Taytum!  What's your last name?"  There was a brief silence, in which I imagine Taytum freezing in her play to stop and search for the right answer.  I know she wanted to make her parents proud and I know she wanted to think of a really good name- the right name.

A brief silence, and then she tentatively answered through the door, "Um, Jesus?"

Are you laughing?  I hope you're laughing.  I'm so glad my friend shared this story with me (and that she gave me permission to share it with you).  It reminded me of the countless Kindergarten moments that I experienced when teaching.  Like when it was raining outside and I had a little boy show up for school wearing swimming goggles.  Or the little girl who came to the first day of school with her security blanket tied around her neck like a cape because she couldn't bear just yet to leave it at home.  Or Jamal, whom I wrote about here, who was able to remember the shape of the number 3 because (in his words) "dat look like tits!"

My partner Kindergarten teacher used to say that she loved teaching Kindergarten because the kids come in without knowing how to line up, and leave so much more mature and independent.  This is a bittersweet truth that I only fully understood after becoming a parent.  They go in as babies, but there's a whole hidden curriculum in Kindergarten that's about focusing, learning social skills, and how to function in a group.  Kindergartners will transform into more mature independent thinkers, but it's a trade off.  Their small-ish world gets bigger and loses some magic and innocent perspective.  In a few weeks, Taytum will forget that she ever thought her last name was Jesus.  You won't catch a first grader wearing goggles to school.  And I like to think that Jamal no longer thinks of breasts when he writes a 3 (although that could still be possible).

This is it guys.  This is when the metamorphosis happens.  Enjoy who you're kids become, and treasure  who they are now.  Write it down, tell other people, celebrate it, and don't worry about them not being "smart enough." They'll get there.  They always get there.  Just love the beautiful little spirits that they are now, because it's fleeting.  

And if you'd tell them to be nice to the pukers, I'd appreciate it.  Thanks.



      

Shut Up Tacy

A few years ago (okay, like 15 years ago but it feels like a few which is what counts, right?) I had an English professor in college who assigned us to research our first, middle, and last names.  That meant, at that time, I would be researching the names Tacy, Kay, and Herrington.  To be honest, I didn't think I would find much, especially for Tacy since it's unusual and never in my lifetime before had my name come through for me in any kind of positive way.  You see, I grew up in the 80's..... a time when the personalization of kid products hit the market and every little girl had a unicorn embellished license plate for her bike with her name emblazoned on it- except for me.   I'd twirl the racks which displayed the personalized plates and trail my fingers down the rows, past the Tracys, Stacys, Caseys, but never was there a Tacy.  Not once.

It still hurts.

Not really.  But I have often wondered if my great grandmother, whom I was named after, also had to deal with calling banks, DMV's, or government offices because official documents get printed out to a Tracy.  You see, people automatically assume that an "r" was left out of the name on the original form.  Or if she got tired of having to repeat her name over and over to new people she was introduced to (and if she ever just finally gave up, as I have at times, and let the new person just think her name is Stacy).  Or if lame college boys ever asked her if she was "tasty", har har.  Or if she ever traded name tags with bus boys at work because it was easier to pretend to be a Jose for the night than to deal with customers at her tables who, upon learning that the name on her tag was printed correctly, didn't see anything wrong with inquiring if her mother knew how to spell properly.  Did she get as tired as I do of explaining?  I'll never know because she passed away shortly before I was born, but I do know that when my parents announced to her that they were going to name me after her she said "Oh, don't you dare do that to that child!"

I don't think they took her seriously.

Despite all this, I'm honored to be named after her.  She was a great lady with a great name, and I like it.  In fact, I stubbornly like it.  It's my name.  It's me.  Those people who are rude or stupid about it can go off and spread their stupidity into other corners of the world- they don't bother me none.

Going back to the assignment though, after doing my research it did become clear that despite the peace that I have with my name, it's definitely not one that would bring good juju to a child in any sense.  "Tacy" is Latin in origin and means silence, or 'to be silenced'.  One resource I found said that it was a name used most often in the 16th century, and it was given as a reminder to a girl of her place.  In other words, my name was a metaphorical gag given to girls as a reminder to sit down and shut up.

Humph!

It doesn't even get better from there.  "Kay" means left handed fool, and "Herrington" originated in Wales from a fishing family.

So, in short, you can say that my name means "Shut up, you left handed, foolish, smelly fisherman!"

It's a lovely legacy.

(By the way, in marrying my husband, I have dropped the fisherman part, and replaced it with a name that is derived from a successful group of horse thieves.  So now I'm "Shut up you left handed horse thief!"  Not much better.)

Anyway.  Although the origins of the silence part can be offensive to a modern day woman such as myself, it does kind of fit me in a way.  I've been trying to find a way to explain to you guys what I mean by this for a while now, and I think the best way to do it is to first ask you to watch something.  (for your viewing pleasure, it's a little bit of the mid-90's version of Brad Pitt.  I know- and you're welcome.)

You never could have convinced me the first time I saw that movie that in 20 years that scene would come off as corny.  I'd have been crying too hard anyway to listen to you.  However, it does strike me as corny now- which makes what I'm about to say equally corny (and I do so hope that I'm not offending anyone who's had a stroke/caring for a loved one who's suffered a stroke, etc.).  When I saw that movie, it occurred to me that I was Anthony Hopkins' character.  I have things to say, it's all in my head, but it's such a struggle for me to get it out and articulate it in the moment.  I don't believe that I think in words, I think I think in feelings, which can be  hard to translate into words quickly, and that is why I tend to like myself more in writing. I've learned this about me.  Writing gives me time to process my thoughts and feelings and put them in words.  I joke with myself that if I could just carry an iPad around my neck and write my thoughts to people, I'd be happier with my interactions.

So, the irony here is that my whole life I've been carrying this name that means "to be silenced", and it was the better part of 36 years before I realized the lesson that life was trying to teach me: to quiet myself more often and just listen.  It's not a bad thing to be "the quiet girl".  I think I used to know this about myself, but then adolescence hit, along with the need to be liked, and I started drowning out my insecurities with chatter.  Since then what I've learned is that too often I wasted both breath and words putting in my two cents,  when if I had just listened more, my thoughts would've doubled in value.

So why am I sharing this with you?  I don't really know.  It's more personal information than I usually share on here.   I guess I felt you should know this about me.  What goes on my head is usually much better than what comes out of my mouth.  There.  I said it.  It's a source of frustration for me, but it's also a blessing because I'm learning to know myself.  I'm Tacy.  I'm  quiet, and I'm glad we had this talk.

 What I mean to say is..... "am happy".

10 Things A Girl Appreciates Upon Returning From 7 Days of Camping, And One Thing She Dreads

1. A hot steamy shower
2. An oversized bar of Jo Malone Fig Bath Soap
3. A loofah
4.  St. Ives Apricot Exfoliating Scrub
5.  A razor
6.  A clean, fresh, fluffy towel
7.  A blow dryer
8.  Soft, pretty, feminine pajamas
9.  A nail brush and file
10. A big, soft comfy bed

And the thing she dreads.......

Taking him through the above process (excluding numbers #5 and 8, of course).

You all have a good night!

I Kept You Waiting (For Superman)

Hi all.

So here's what is going on in my life:  For the last year I've been searching for a job- on Edjoin, on Craigslist, in the online newspaper listings, all to no avail.  Then, in this last week I got 3 calls for interviews and one job offer.  I've spent the last few days updating my teaching portfolio and going on interviews.  So now my life feels like it's in limbo while I wait to hear news, any news. Of course, things are further complicated by the fact that we're going on vacation, so the receiving of any news that may occur will be delayed by a couple of days.  

I like it when God answers prayers, but sometimes I hate the way he does it.

(For you non-religous peeps, all I mean is that even though I asked for this, it still kinda blows.)

And as if I'm not feeling enough anguish and upheaval, it happens to be a fact that the job I want most of all- a teaching position for a 2/3 combo class- starts on August 29th, which is J's first day of Kindergarten.  I would not be able to take him for his first day of school, which is almost a deal breaker for me.  In fact, just thinking about it makes me feel like a failure as a mother and makes me want to cry.  However, as my husband says, I need to take one thing at a time and please please PLEASE let us just enjoy our vacation and leave the stress at home.

Amen.

So anyway, tonight I am going to write about Waiting For Superman, which I've mentioned several times and have never really gotten around to discussing in any kind of length.  At one time (actually for a long time), I felt fired up about it, but now I just feel tired and a little cranky.  

What made me angry about this movie is that it could've really helped the state of education in our country.  It could have made people aware of how poverty levels affect learning, or about how pacing guides are causing teachers to rush through the curriculum without allowing for time for the students to really understand a concept before they have to push on to the next concept (and all these concepts are crammed in the first 6 months of school so that they can be taught before the state testing occurs).  It could've discussed the importance of parent involvement, or the impact of the HUGE influx of second language students in the last 2-3 decades, but it didn't.  Instead it oversimplified things to a ridiculous degree and it played the blame game.  If you watched Waiting For Superman, you probably walked away from the movie thinking that our education system is failing because teacher unions and tenure prevented administrators from firing bad teachers.

Bullshit.

I've said it over and over and over.  Of course there are bad teachers.  I had bad teachers.  I survived bad teachers, just as I have survived bad bankers, bad customer service reps, bad waiters, bad community service officers.  Your child will survive a bad teacher, and so will you.  They are out there, but the majority of teachers are good and well meaning and loving and most of all, they want your child to succeed.  

I'm so tired of saying that.  The thing is, if you are of the belief that teachers are overpaid sloths who are in the job for the summers off, then you're an idiot and there's not a lot I can say to you to change your mind. The politicians have managed to to get everybody riled up about teacher pay, accountability and teacher tenure.  My personal feeling is that this is a deliberate diversionary tactic.  In a manner typical of our government, it's easier for them to blame the teachers than to do something productive and work to save an outdated, failing public school system.  

Because this whole topic (so obviously) irritates me, I won't spend a lot of time debating points from the movie.  Let me just get the following things off my chest, and then I'll shut up.

*Teacher "overpayment"- I'm not sure why it's anyone's business how much teachers make.  I don't have any idea what my doctor or grocer or any other service member in my community makes, but suddenly it seems that people feel like teacher's salaries should be discussed and scrutinized publicly.  I don't feel like this is fair, but I'll talk numbers if I have to.  Mr. C's district's salary schedule starts at  $42,000.  (By the way, the national average household income is $55,000)  For every year of service, employees get a small increase.  The schedule caps around $78,000, but that's only for employees who have their Master's Degree.  Considering the hours that teachers work, the overtime they put in, and the extra events that they attend, I don't feel like Mr. C and I are earning an unfair salary.  I know people who work less, don't have a college degree, and who make more money than us.  

*Teacher "tenure"-  Ugh!  I hate how politicized this topic has gotten!  In Waiting For Superman, the woman who served as the D.C School Superintendent, Michelle Rhee, shut down 13 schools because of poor performance.  Imagine that you are a teacher in one of these schools.  You go to work everyday and dedicate yourself to students who may or may not have any support at home.  They may not speak English.  They may be being hungry, or even abused.  You teach them and do your best to make a difference for them, but the state test scores from your school are low. (Of course they are- studies have shown that poverty has a detrimental effect on learning.)  However, one day, because of these low test scores, your school is shut down.  You no longer have a job, because one person-this Michelle Rhee- has decided that the teachers at your school are ineffective.  It doesn't matter that you've seen your students improve and blossom.  Because they haven't scored well on the standardized test, you have now lost your job. 

It is because of people like Michelle Rhee, that we even have tenure and unions.  We need it to protect ourselves.  However, if it really matters all that much, then take it!  It never mattered to me and Mr. C.  We were both tenured, along with 1000's of other teachers, when we were pink slipped two years in a row because of budget cuts.  Tenure never really meant that much.  

Finally, let me say this about the unions- I agree, they've become too politicized.  I don't like that every October I get a pamphlet from the California Teacher's Association telling me who they think I should vote for in the November election.  I have my own mind, and with it I make my own decisions, thank you very much.  However, I blame the politicization of our unions on the structure of our government, not on the teachers themselves.  I view the union as being useful for what it was created for- to protect my rights and livelihood from being intruded upon by any power plays from the government.  

I will agree with the movie on one point- in education the focus has shifted from the kids.  It seems everyone is arguing about all the stuff I talked about above; standardized tests, accountability, unions, tenure.... but no one is thinking about how to make it better for the kids.  Our system is overloaded, ineffective, outdated.... but so far no one has been able to give us answers for what we need to do to fix it.  Teachers are returning to work, and they'll continue to do what they do.  They'll care for the kids, they'll go through the curriculum the best they can, as fast as they can, and they will just.... teach.  

As fo me, I'm curious about what you all's thoughts are on this.  I know I came off pretty strong up there, but I do want to know what other opinions and thoughts are out there.  How much are teachers to blame?  What exactly do you think is wrong with our system?  Should I take a job that won't let me take my son to his first day of Kindergarten?  

Just kidding on that last one.  Kind of. 

 Leave a comment and let me know what you think.  I'll be out fending off bears in the Sequoia's somewhere, but I'll be happy to see your thoughts when I come back.  

By the way, I realize I have broken internet safety rule #1- never tell the internet that you are leaving your home.  However, you should know that if any of you are considering breaking into my home while I'm gone,  I have arranged for house guests to stay here.  Plus,  I have a big, mean, toothy dog who is very loyal to us and our home.  He will be on guard.  

So there.  Don't even think about it. 

Have a good night!