Tooth Fairy Trauma

Well, if you’re a friend of mine on Facebook,, you’ll know that Princess G lost her first tooth on Saturday morning. She’s over the moon excited by this, mainly because it means that she will be on the “Lost Tooth Chart” in her Kindergarten Classroom. I don’t know what this entails, but evidently it’s a very high honor and many will be envious of her new status. In fact, I think that’s what thrills her the most- the envy from the rest of her peer group. Yes, I realize that my DNA is very evident here. The apple does not fall far, my friends.

Now. If you’re a follower of this blog, you’ll remember that I don’t do so well with the make-believe holiday icons. I never believed in them growing up and now I’m just kind of blindly feeling my way through. Remember how I fessed up to spending most of fall and the beginning weeks of winter abusing the power of Santa? Well, this time I’ve managed to make the Tooth Fairy sound scary.,. especially to my son. I didn’t mean to. I was trying to put them to bed sweetly and then they just started asking all these questions. Really, is there a resource with answers for common questions kids ask about make believe cultural characters? I need one because last night I had to start winging it and it got kind of intense. The conversation went like this:

Me: Okay! So sleep tight cuz the Tooth Fairy is paying you a visit tonight!

Princess G: What does she look like mommy?

Me: Oh, no one really knows. She doesn’t like to be seen.

J: Mama, how does she get in here?

Me: She just POOF! Magically appears.

J: I don’t want to see her! I’m scared of her!

Me: You don’t have to worry sweetheart. She has magic tooth powder that she sprinkles on people so that stay asleep and can’t wake up while she’s here.

*At this point, I admit that I started realizing how creepy this was all starting to sound. Tooth powder? What? Does she take her tooth collection to a mill where little elves grind them all down into magic powder? Honestly, I had no idea where I was going with this. I was just trying to answer their questions best I could so I could get out of there and enjoy my kettle chips and wine.

Princess G: But mommy? How does she know I lost a tooth? What if she doesn’t come?

Me: Oh, she has little friends who tell her. Don’t worry, she’ll come.

J: (pulling the covers up over his chin) But what friends mommy? And what does she do when she’s here?

Me: I don’t know what friends, baby. Just special secret friends that watch and tell her what’s going on. And she just slips her hands under Gracie’s pillow to take her tooth. Then she leaves some money! That’s fun, right?

J: I don’t like her mommy! I don’t want her to come!

Princess G: J! Don’t say that! She may hear you!

Me: (making my escape) Goodnight you two! Sweet Dreams!

I exit the room, wondering how that went so awry. Was there a way to make her not sound so scary? Cuz when you really think about it, the tooth fairy is kind of creepy.

Fast forward a few hours. Guess who’s standing at my bedside at 1 a.m.?

J: Mama? I’m scared of what the Tooth Fairy is going to do to Gracie. Can I sleep with you tonight?

Me: (sighing) I don’t blame you. Climb on in.

This mama will be so glad when Easter has come and gone. Who knows what horror stories I can dream up about a giant rabbit that runs around your lawn in the middle of the night hiding eggs?

You all have a good night!