I know I've been writing about J way too much this year. I assure you, all 4 of the kids are loved, appreciated, fed, and interacted with as equally as any mom can manage, but J this year, well he's..... he's a five year old boy. They're hilarious. I, being the oldest of 2 sisters and 7 female cousins, have never had the opportunity to experience this before, and it's been great material for this blog.
Anyway. I just want to tell you this one thing. I'm sorry for sounding like one of those moms who thinks everything her kid does is hilarious. (Really, it's only like, 75% of everything he does that is hilarious.)
It started this evening with J deciding that he was going to sleep in the hallway closet. Why, you ask, would he want to sleep in a closet?
Because that's what Harry Potter did silly. (He also informed us that he would need a pet owl. When that was vetoed, he said that he would settle for a rat or a cat. When we reminded him that he was allergic to cats, he only had to think for a moment before running off to get his favorite stuffed animal and shoving into a shoebox. Then he was happy. He now had his magical creature, safe and secure in it's own "cage".)
I don't know where or why this sudden infatuation came from, but I'm pretty sure his little heart wanted more than anything to have a flock of owls swoop down our chimney in the wee hours of the night with invitations from Hogwarts for him between their beaks. J gets ideas like this in his head, and then he becomes relentless in his efforts to make his fantasies real. He will work on you until you have run out of patience and logical arguments. In this scenario, it took him two days to wear us down. He even went through the trouble of drawing us a diagram of how he would fit his sleeping bag and pillow in the 2x3 space. How could we say no to such thoroughness? So we said yes, knowing full well that he wouldn't really last in there for more than a hour.
We were right.
At 8:45, he came into my bedroom where I was reading. He said that he missed PG because sometimes they would talk each other to sleep. He asked if he could go talk to her. I told him that she was already asleep, but that he could go sleep in his own bed any time he wanted to. He told me that he would. I said okay, and reminded him to use the restroom before going to bed.
And that's when this conversation happened:
J: MOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!! Is this candy?
He comes out of my bathroom holding a wrapped tampon and waves it at me accusingly.
Me: No! Put it back.
J: It's candy!
Me: No, I swear it's not candy. Go put it back.
J: Well then, what is it?
Me: Nothing! It's just my stuff! Now go put it back!
He walks slowly back into the bathroom. I hear the crinkling of paper being torn and, sighing, I roll off my bed with the intent of grabbing the tampon from him and shooing him off to bed. But then I hear him say this in a voice dripping with disappointment:
"Oh. It's just a thermometer."
And that's when I grabbed my computer and typed this all out for you guys to see.
Have a good night.
Anyway. I just want to tell you this one thing. I'm sorry for sounding like one of those moms who thinks everything her kid does is hilarious. (Really, it's only like, 75% of everything he does that is hilarious.)
It started this evening with J deciding that he was going to sleep in the hallway closet. Why, you ask, would he want to sleep in a closet?
Because that's what Harry Potter did silly. (He also informed us that he would need a pet owl. When that was vetoed, he said that he would settle for a rat or a cat. When we reminded him that he was allergic to cats, he only had to think for a moment before running off to get his favorite stuffed animal and shoving into a shoebox. Then he was happy. He now had his magical creature, safe and secure in it's own "cage".)
I don't know where or why this sudden infatuation came from, but I'm pretty sure his little heart wanted more than anything to have a flock of owls swoop down our chimney in the wee hours of the night with invitations from Hogwarts for him between their beaks. J gets ideas like this in his head, and then he becomes relentless in his efforts to make his fantasies real. He will work on you until you have run out of patience and logical arguments. In this scenario, it took him two days to wear us down. He even went through the trouble of drawing us a diagram of how he would fit his sleeping bag and pillow in the 2x3 space. How could we say no to such thoroughness? So we said yes, knowing full well that he wouldn't really last in there for more than a hour.
We were right.
At 8:45, he came into my bedroom where I was reading. He said that he missed PG because sometimes they would talk each other to sleep. He asked if he could go talk to her. I told him that she was already asleep, but that he could go sleep in his own bed any time he wanted to. He told me that he would. I said okay, and reminded him to use the restroom before going to bed.
And that's when this conversation happened:
J: MOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!! Is this candy?
He comes out of my bathroom holding a wrapped tampon and waves it at me accusingly.
Me: No! Put it back.
J: It's candy!
Me: No, I swear it's not candy. Go put it back.
J: Well then, what is it?
Me: Nothing! It's just my stuff! Now go put it back!
He walks slowly back into the bathroom. I hear the crinkling of paper being torn and, sighing, I roll off my bed with the intent of grabbing the tampon from him and shooing him off to bed. But then I hear him say this in a voice dripping with disappointment:
"Oh. It's just a thermometer."
And that's when I grabbed my computer and typed this all out for you guys to see.
Have a good night.
Ok. I have decided you should be a writer for sitcoms. Just think of all of tbr material you have to work with.
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