Preschool Fashion

My time as a preschool parent is coming to a close.  There are only a few more months, and then Roo will finally be off to Kindergarten and I will have to say goodbye forever to the sweet little school and staff that I’ve been bringing my kids to since 2007.  And while there are so many things I love about this school- the teachers, the curriculum, the fact that they’ve seen me through various stages of motherhood and have not once treated me like the crazy person I know I appear to be- there is one thing that I may miss the most when I leave preschool....... and that is the fashion.

If there is a group anywhere on this planet that is less inhibited than the preschool crowd in choice of clothing, I’d like to know who they are.  I’d also like to know what it is that they are smoking because the batshit blend of colors and whimsy that one sees on a preschooler is most likely unattainable without the help of hallucinogens. (I'm serious.  You can test this theory.  Remember the Rave parties that were so popular in the 90's? Imagine a group of kids from a Rave side by side with a group of preschoolers. Other than the fact that one group would be about two feet taller and high as kites, aren't they otherwise dressed identically?)

Now, in the past seven years, I have observed preschool fashion closely and tried my best to understand the wee one's process when it comes to creating an ensemble.  Years of study has taught me that their logic seems to be so completely creative and pure that it’s very difficult for us jaded, practical adults to understand.  However, I have compiled (to the best of my ability) a list of what I gather to be some general rules that the 5-and- unders follow.  I wish I knew this when G was four years old and stubbornly refusing to wear the ribbons and bows that I was always trying to put her in.  Would've made for much more peaceful mornings.  Oh well.  C'est la vie. 

Anyway. Here they are:

-Rubber rain boots go with anything, anytime, anywhere

-When you find a clothing item that works for you, stick with it.  In fact, don’t let your mom wash it.  Just keep wearing it.  Over and over and over and over.

-Glitter is the new black

-Superhero capes are the new black.

-Everything is the new black, except for black.

-Brushed teeth and hair are optional, as long as your outfit of the day is killin’ it.

-All clothes should be worn unapologetically, with extreme confidence and with pride.  Don’t listen to the adults who try to get you to match.  Be assertive.  Scream if necessary.  Don’t let them break you.

A few years ago, I heard of an artist in Japan who takes children’s drawings and re images them in photographs. That gave me a great idea. What if we did that with children’s fashion?  What if Milan’s fashion week featured a show in which the models walked the runway outfitted in clothes chosen by a preschooler?  What fun!  What magic! 

Then I realized it was really a terrible idea.  Never mind.  Never mind it at all.  A half-starved giraffe of a model would never be able to wear the preschool look with the joie de vivre it requires.   

Man, I’m going to miss preschool.