You guys. It's like E!News Central around here. The air in this household is abuzz with gossip. Hushed murmurs abound. You wouldn't even believe the vibe here.
9 has a girlfriend.
Before I go on, let me stop and say that I am NOT writing this simply to announce on a mom blog that my teenage stepson has a girlfriend. That would be stupid and lah-ame for a variety of reasons. It'd also be boring because it's not really anything special. That's what teenagers do, right? They date. 9 has had girlfriends before. So this is not news, and this is not what I am writing about. I repeat, this is not what I am writing about. What I am writing about is the reaction of my family members to the change in 9's relationship status. It's bananas. The drama! The excitement! The betrayal! (I'll get to the betrayal thing in a minute.)
It started a few weeks ago with a text that Matt sent me. It said "9 just told me that he has a gf."
The thing is, that though he meant to text it to me, he accidentally texted it to 9. And 9 was all "Uh, did you mean to send this to someone else?" So then Matt had to explain himself and kind of apologize.
Awkward.
Then the kids found out.
Pg is totally laid back and whatever about it. J doesn't understand why 9 would want to date a girl because in J's world, all the love stuff is stupid and embarrassing. Whenever we tease J about getting married someday, he insists that he won't because (and this is a direct quote) he "wants to have a happy life." So, clearly Matt and I have been a wonderful model of love and marriage for him.
In fact, if I had to guess about which kid, if any, would have a problem with 9 having a girlfriend, I would've guessed J. A few years ago, at Knott's Berry Farm, 9 got pulled out of an audience to take part in a shotgun wedding skit in which he was forced to "marry" a man dressed as a hillbilly bride. 9 had fun with it and was playing it up. I was laughing so hard that I had tears coming out of my eyes, until I looked down at J and discovered that he was crying for real. He thought 9 was really getting married off and leaving us.
So you can imagine my surprise when it turned out that Roo is the one child who is having the hardest time accepting this little change. I was totally unaware of her feelings because if the subject ever came up, she stayed pretty quiet. However, yesterday 9 was home from his summer camp job for the first time in 6 days and Roo announced at the dinner table that she was calling a family meeting. She took the floor and hmmed and ha'd for what seemed like forever.
"Um, I really want to ask 9 a question? But I'm embarrassed too?" She was shuffling her feet and staring at the floor. I had a feeling that since the question was directed at 9, it would have something to do with his girlfriend. I said a quick prayer that she wasn't going to ask anything that I didn't want to know the answer to, and told her that it was okay.
"I feel really weird about this." she said.
"Well, you called the meeting Roo, so spit it out."
"Oooooooooookay. Fine. 9. Is it true that you have a girlfriend?" she asked.
9 smiled and said "Yes, it's true. I have a girlfriend."
Roo made this weird groaning sound and then she took a deep breath and asked "Is it true that her name is Lily?"
9 said, "Yes, it's true that her name is Lily."
And then Roo got this embarrassed smile on her face and ran from the room. 9 and I exchanged "What was that?" expressions as I left the room to follow Roo. I found her in her bedroom, laying on the floor, with her feet up on the wall. I asked her what was going on.
"I'm never talking to 9 again."she said.
"What? Why not?"
"I don't know. Because I feel weird."
"Because his girlfriend has the same name as you?"
"No! I just feel weird."
I tried to reason. "Um, okay. You know, he would still talk to you if you had a friend named Kynen."
I got an eye-roll response, so I shrugged, turned, and walked away. I was half way down the hall when I heard her get up, stomp to 9's doorway, and loudly proclaim to him "I am NOT happy for you!"
Then she stomped back to her room and slammed the door.
I walked to 9's room. "Did she just tell you that she is not happy for you?"
He was still laughing. "Yes."
"Oh, PLEASE can I write about this?"
He told me to go ahead. He's a good sport about stuff like this.
What cracks me up is that if 9 ever decided to bring this girl around us, it wouldn't be me or Matt she would have to impress. To win Roo over, this girl better show up with really cool hair and makeup, glitter or sequins somewhere on her outfit, and she had better know the words and harmonies to each and every song from Frozen. It'd be for her own good, because truly.......
does this look like a face you'd want to mess with?
9 has a girlfriend.
Before I go on, let me stop and say that I am NOT writing this simply to announce on a mom blog that my teenage stepson has a girlfriend. That would be stupid and lah-ame for a variety of reasons. It'd also be boring because it's not really anything special. That's what teenagers do, right? They date. 9 has had girlfriends before. So this is not news, and this is not what I am writing about. I repeat, this is not what I am writing about. What I am writing about is the reaction of my family members to the change in 9's relationship status. It's bananas. The drama! The excitement! The betrayal! (I'll get to the betrayal thing in a minute.)
It started a few weeks ago with a text that Matt sent me. It said "9 just told me that he has a gf."
The thing is, that though he meant to text it to me, he accidentally texted it to 9. And 9 was all "Uh, did you mean to send this to someone else?" So then Matt had to explain himself and kind of apologize.
Awkward.
Then the kids found out.
Pg is totally laid back and whatever about it. J doesn't understand why 9 would want to date a girl because in J's world, all the love stuff is stupid and embarrassing. Whenever we tease J about getting married someday, he insists that he won't because (and this is a direct quote) he "wants to have a happy life." So, clearly Matt and I have been a wonderful model of love and marriage for him.
In fact, if I had to guess about which kid, if any, would have a problem with 9 having a girlfriend, I would've guessed J. A few years ago, at Knott's Berry Farm, 9 got pulled out of an audience to take part in a shotgun wedding skit in which he was forced to "marry" a man dressed as a hillbilly bride. 9 had fun with it and was playing it up. I was laughing so hard that I had tears coming out of my eyes, until I looked down at J and discovered that he was crying for real. He thought 9 was really getting married off and leaving us.
So you can imagine my surprise when it turned out that Roo is the one child who is having the hardest time accepting this little change. I was totally unaware of her feelings because if the subject ever came up, she stayed pretty quiet. However, yesterday 9 was home from his summer camp job for the first time in 6 days and Roo announced at the dinner table that she was calling a family meeting. She took the floor and hmmed and ha'd for what seemed like forever.
"Um, I really want to ask 9 a question? But I'm embarrassed too?" She was shuffling her feet and staring at the floor. I had a feeling that since the question was directed at 9, it would have something to do with his girlfriend. I said a quick prayer that she wasn't going to ask anything that I didn't want to know the answer to, and told her that it was okay.
"I feel really weird about this." she said.
"Well, you called the meeting Roo, so spit it out."
"Oooooooooookay. Fine. 9. Is it true that you have a girlfriend?" she asked.
9 smiled and said "Yes, it's true. I have a girlfriend."
Roo made this weird groaning sound and then she took a deep breath and asked "Is it true that her name is Lily?"
9 said, "Yes, it's true that her name is Lily."
And then Roo got this embarrassed smile on her face and ran from the room. 9 and I exchanged "What was that?" expressions as I left the room to follow Roo. I found her in her bedroom, laying on the floor, with her feet up on the wall. I asked her what was going on.
"I'm never talking to 9 again."she said.
"What? Why not?"
"I don't know. Because I feel weird."
"Because his girlfriend has the same name as you?"
"No! I just feel weird."
I tried to reason. "Um, okay. You know, he would still talk to you if you had a friend named Kynen."
I got an eye-roll response, so I shrugged, turned, and walked away. I was half way down the hall when I heard her get up, stomp to 9's doorway, and loudly proclaim to him "I am NOT happy for you!"
Then she stomped back to her room and slammed the door.
I walked to 9's room. "Did she just tell you that she is not happy for you?"
He was still laughing. "Yes."
"Oh, PLEASE can I write about this?"
He told me to go ahead. He's a good sport about stuff like this.
What cracks me up is that if 9 ever decided to bring this girl around us, it wouldn't be me or Matt she would have to impress. To win Roo over, this girl better show up with really cool hair and makeup, glitter or sequins somewhere on her outfit, and she had better know the words and harmonies to each and every song from Frozen. It'd be for her own good, because truly.......
does this look like a face you'd want to mess with?
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